Going Through Life Crisis? 15 Ways To Bounce Back
When you’re at your lowest ebb, it’s always good to know you’re
not alone. This is when the saying, ‘when the going gets tough, the tough gets
going’ comes in handy as a reminder, that any life crisis is just a phase, and
that phase will pass just like all the others.
Whether you’re a millionaire celebrity or a single mother coping on a
meager wage, life has a way of stirring up challenges. You may have said to
yourself ‘I’ve paid my dues. It’s time to put my feet up and enjoy little
pleasures of life.’ But, oh no to your annoyance, you discover money doesn’t
buy love, while those expensive gold jewelries don’t make you happy, while
you’re tired slugging it out with your mother- in- law who thinks her son could
have chosen better, and there are times you just want to tell her to shove it.
Relentlessly, other problems keep coming at you.
Researches show that no stage of life is any happier than
another. College days had its joys and tears, marriage, parenting and career
had their ups and downs, while life doesn’t really begin at forty with its
myriad of issues. The good news is that
you can turn round a setback if you remain positive. Being positive makes you stronger and helps
you discover new and exciting life on the other side of crisis. To help you get out of the ‘tough time’, experts
suggest 15 ways to encourage you to pick up the pieces, get you back on your
feet, and come out shining.
1. Open up. It’s unhealthy to bottle up frustration. You got to talk to
somebody. Moan and cry out to your best
friend. Let him or her know this isn’t
about trying to solve your problem but to open up and get some reassurance in
return. You can talk for as long as your
friend is willing to listen; an hour maybe about your anger, but maximum two
hours. Thereafter sit down and together
make up a list of ten blessings to be thankful for.
2. Remain healthy. For you to stay on top of a crisis, it’s important to take care
of yourself and be in top shape healthwise. If you smoke, drink alcohol, or
resort to comfort eating these will make you feel worse when crisis
strikes. Try to nourish your body with a
healthy diet and of course get off that couch to do some exercise. Studies have shown that regular exercise
helps to reduce stress levels. Having
said this, it’s also crucial to make time to relax and chill out once in a
while.
3. One day at a time. Take it one day at a time. Set yourself achievable goals so you
don’t overload yourself, which can be counterproductive and put you under more
pressure.
4. Coping with Loss. If you’re going through the death of a loved one, give yourself
time to come to terms with what has happened. It’s normal to be angry, sad and
bitter about the loss, so give yourself time to go through this emotional
phase. Once you feel a bit better, plan things that will help you move on, such
as going out with friends, joining a leisure group, learning a new hobby, or
getting more involved in community activities.
5. Manage depression. To be able to manage depression is to live with it as you would
a headache. Simply put, learn how to deal with the blues by identifying what
triggers your depression and handling it. For instance, if you get depressed
due to an insulting remark about your looks, or any other negative comments,
ignore and desist from allowing them take central place in your heart. Of course, being able to ignore what people
think about you comes with maturity, wisdom, and balance. With time what
usually makes you upset soon becomes a passing concern.
6. Deal with debt. If you’re in the habit of piling up
debt, it’s time to deal with it. Understandably, times
are hard and there are situations when you need a bit of loan to tide things
over. And yes, loan once in a while is
alright. But if debt becomes a problem,
then deal with it. Being ashamed of debt is not the issue, but taking control,
and asking for help when you think you’re being sucked in by a growing debt, is
a better option. Identify the reasons for getting into debt in the first place
to avoid getting into the same trap again.
7. Be rational about rejection. Rejection comes in different ways: could be job
rejection, spouse rejection, peer rejection, or boyfriend rejection. Whichever way it happens, rejection is awful.
It suggests something is wrong with you, since you’re judging the circumstances
by the other person’s ideals, which sometimes are not apt. For instance, if you’re turned down at a job
interview, the chances are that it wasn’t right for you, not that you didn’t
perform well. The right approach is to think about what you are capable of and
tell yourself that the right job for you is there for the takes. Or perhaps if
your boyfriend ditched you for a prettier face, the chances are that you
thought you knew him well, but you got it wrong. Again tell yourself you are
better without him, at least thank God you found out the real him before you
tied the knots, then you have to live with his instability for the rest of your
life.
8. Resist self-pity. We don’t like our lives turned upside
down, but when it does resist self-pity and
asking why me? Empower yourself with the learning from that upheaval and how
this is going to make you stronger, and use it as a positive turning point in
your life. For instance, I had a
traumatic experience twenty years ago when six armed men stormed my house, beat
everybody up and threatened to shoot my four-year-old son as well as my junior
brother right in my presence. For weeks
after the ordeal, I was angry, bitter and sad. I was advised to change house,
but decided to stay and vowed no amount of violent intimidation will force me
out of my house. I had two similar
attacks again within a year. I still
stayed. Looking back, I’m amazed at my courage, resilience, patience, as well
as my determination to get on with life, no matter how ugly.
9. Put the Past Behind You – When it comes to putting the past behind you and moving on, I
am an advocate of ‘life has to go on’, no matter the odds militating against
it. When there is life, there is hope.
If you don’t put the past behind you, how can you move on to new things?
I have learned to put the past, particularly the negative, sad bits, firmly
behind me. Just like anybody else I have
had my ups and downs, my joys and tragedies, but learning to survive is the
ultimate.
10. Concentrate on beautiful things. Rather than focus on the bad things in your life, it’s
helpful to identify five areas of your life going well and do more of them. So
if your happiest moment is with your partner, arrange more time together. If
you love your gym workout, don’t miss it. If you enjoy reading and meditating,
treat yourself every day. If you are keen to write, why not join a writers club
or go for a weekend writer’s retreat.
11. Know yourself more. If for instance a love relationship
ends with so much bitterness, don’t be in a haste to start a new one just to
kill the pain you’re going through. Instead do a check on the ‘person’ that you
are and come out with a list that helps you assess your strength and
weaknesses, as well as things you’ll like to explore. You can join clubs or interest groups and
socialise with your friends and family. Once in a while, give yourself treats
and take time to relax until you feel better about life.
12. Go out and socialise more. I am not advocating hitting all the parties in town. This is about getting together with your
friends for a get-away or a chat.
Research shows that having a network of friends can reduce the risk of
serious health problems. So while you
shouldn’t neglect old friendships, be on the lookout for new ones. Friends are a great way to keep laughter and
energy in our lives. I mean the friends
you can call up at four o’clock in the morning, and are also free to call you
back same time are the ones that matter.
13. Cope without your children. You know how it
feels when all the children go back to boarding schools or colleges. The house
becomes empty and boring. No one to
shout at, the heavy buzz 24/7 is no longer there. The truth is that when the children leave home,
you can find yourself at a bit of a loss. You sure miss their presence. For the
time they’re home, your life revolves around them, which of course gives you a
lot of fulfillment and self-worth. So rather than move around sluggishly around
the house, it’s the perfect time to take up something new and exciting. Find yourself a new purpose, whether it is
starting a new small part time business or studying.
14. Identify issues in your relationship. Ex-marital affairs are symptoms of a relationship that
has gone sour, not causes. When a relationship breaks down, for instance, perhaps
due to constant harassment by your spouse in the house, it provides an avenue
to search for external stress relief. Therefore, it’s better to identify what
triggers the breakdown in the first place: be it sexual issues, money problems,
office problems, children problems and deal with those.
15. Bouncing back after a major illness. One of our prayer points is a request for good health,
amongst other requests from God. But
once in a while, something happens and our body reacts in a way we don’t want
it to. It can be a challenging time
coping with a major illness, particularly when it’s one that requires an
admission for several weeks in a hospital, running tests here and there. But
then you recover and feel so fortunate and grateful to be a survivor of an
illness that some patients don’t survive.
You see it as a gift, but most importantly it is an experience that
makes you see the world in a more appreciative way.
Photo Credits: Creative Commons.
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