3 Main Reasons Older Women Date Younger Men
An older man dating a younger woman is
seen as normal and nobody gives it a second thought. But when a woman finds a younger man, she's
the center of gossip in the neighborhood.
And God helps her if she’s a celebrity; she becomes a hot story for the
tabloids. Why is there discrimination when it comes to age-gap relationships?
It’s often taken for granted in this
part of the world that old men have the right to younger women. It’s almost part of the culture. However, when it’s an older woman dating a
younger man, she’s called all sorts of names ranging from an overconfident
cradle snatcher to a woman who just doesn’t want to grow old gracefully. If
they profess love for each other, you hear something like “Love my foot. Just
tell this old granny to grow up and go get someone her own age”.
There has always been a lot more attention
given to older women with younger men than vice versa. The truth of the matter
is that there are plenty of women out there who are proving irresistible to
younger men. For starters, the older
women have money, class, good taste, they are beautiful, well groomed, with a wonderful sense
of humour, and a youthful figure and look.
The younger man may attempt to defend
the relationship with the older woman. “I just don’t get it. What has age got to do with it? Why do people
focus on our age difference”, he complains about society’s frown at his older
date. Money is believed to be the main motivation for the man, but sometimes may
not be.
Relationship experts come to the rescue and identified
three reasons, not by all means all of it, why the magic works between older women and younger men, not
forgetting the problem angle either.
1. Suitable Lovers
The humorous side of it is that older
women and younger men make a great couple when it comes to casual sex. In a survey, one third of forty something women
asked say they’re having more sex now than twenty years ago, and more than
half have more orgasms. Why is that? The
reason, according to the study, is a combination of experience and changing
hormones. Women have more intense
orgasms and tend to peak sexually in their mid to late 30’s. For men, blood flow and stamina decrease over
the years, so the younger they are the higher and longer lasting the erections.
Several older women are enjoying their
sexuality for longer and for them sex just keeps on getting better. They are more aware of their bodies and know
what they like. All that’s required is a
partner who will not only take them to that sexual height, but also be able to
keep up with them. Another way to look at it is this: a woman divorced her
husband after all the children had grown up and left home. Sex with him had become a routine and hardly
exciting. She met a twenty seven year old lawyer and for a while got a return
to great sex; what used to be. Though lucky they had more in common outside the
bedroom, the downside was the younger man’s parents and family's objection to the
relationship. It ended anyway. The woman confessed it was lovely while it
lasted because the time with someone outside the same age group was interesting
and unlocked new experiences.
2. it’s more than Sex…sometimes love, friendship
too
Older women date younger men not just
for the great sex, though it’s the number one reason if you’re looking for a
short term fling. Albeit sex alone will not hold the relationship for long. If it’s commitment you are looking for, other
factors such as friendship, intimacy, sharing of values and interests do matter.
For instance, younger men have this spontaneity and always enthusiastic about
doing things together or even do for you. They may offer to cook for you, take
a walk with you, excited to meet you as often as possible. And when you remind
them of your age, they often say, “No way, you look much younger”. You
might just wonder what your age is supposed to look like, because in any case
with a strong bond and connection, the issue of age shouldn’t be an issue,
right?
Some younger men even go further to
actually, really, genuinely fall in love with the older women. Remember the movies “When Stella got her groove
back”, “Fifty”, “Cougars wives” and all those movies breaking the ice by depicting
‘unrestricted’ love bloom between the older woman and the younger man. This isn’t
about gigolos, but about younger men who talk of marriage, ready to take all
the scorn and tease from their friends. In the end, it’s often the older women who
stall and buckle under society’s outrage.
Those who are daring go on to tie the knot with their younger dates.
Some have even lasted.
3. Older (younger), healthier, and
richer
As women are becoming healthier,
richer, and feeling younger into their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond, it is
inevitable that they are more attractive to all men young and old. Older women offer experience both in and out
of bed. They raised family, run successful businesses, more confident about
themselves, financially independent, and free to make their own choices. So what young man would not be attracted to
such a rewarding brand?
However,
the problem is…
So assuming women are achieving equality
with men in many areas, why is there still inequality between the sexes when it
comes to older women dating younger men?
One problem is the fertility issue; the
mother figure syndrome. When older men
can father children into their 70’s, a woman’s fertility declines from the age
of 35. So assuming the younger man desires children in the future, there is
likely to be relationship clashes. This problem doesn’t arise in the younger
woman and older man scenario. To compound the discrimination further, there is
a discrepancy between society’s expectations of older men and women. For instance, it's okay for an older man to
be both a father figure AND sexual in a relationship, whereas society expects
the older woman to be nurturing and motherly OR sexual – but never both.
Photo Credit: Creative Commons
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