Begin to Court Your Husband...Once Again!

I watched a programme recently during which the presenter arranged a date for a couple married for ten years. The story is that the couple hardly had time for each other, not to mention a romantic outing for two. So the presenter decided to take the ‘dinner date’ to the couple’s house with the entire works- candle lit, wine, delicious food, roses, soft music. The couple had a fabulous and enjoyable dinner, read each other love poems, danced cheek- to-cheek, and of course capped it with once in a lifetime lovemaking.

The hard truth is that most couples early courting days were filled with romantic moments, as they swoon over each other, and can’t keep their hands off. Marriage came in, honeymoon ended, babies came or didn’t come. Soon other pastimes took over with no time left do those things they used to do when courting.

The fact is so glaring that many women live a life of work, meetings, children, and housekeeping.  There is little or no time left to feed properly talk less of  stepping back into early courting days just to relive those romantic experience with their spouses.  I bet most women will agree that they let other activities take priority over sexual intimacy in their lives. 

So sisters, it’s about time you ponder on a really hot outing this Saturday with your sweetheart, who is no other than your husband of course. You don’t have the time? Yes you do.  All you got to do is prioritise. Too old to start dating? Oh no you’re not. What has age got to do with it? Romance is for everyone. It doesn’t matter whether you’re 25 or 70 something; romance doesn’t just happen on its own, it has to be developed and nurtured.

It’s not the children’s fault

Like someone said, couples should make time for each other and stop blaming the children for lack of intimacy in their lives. If you don’t build romance into your lives now, what happens when the children grow up and leave? Then what? The struggle to reconnect starts big time as you try to pick the pieces where you left off say ten, twenty,  maybe even thirty years ago. And since a strong foundation for friendship was not laid earlier on, there’s room for failure. Admit we are family oriented making us accept our children’s dependency as the norm for parenthood; nonetheless it won’t be out of place if parents spend quiet time alone with each other.   

Many couples don’t even know the last time they went on a date together or, worse still, taken the children out on a picnic or to the  cinema for family bonding. A romantic time with each other is what relationship is all about, not just a once in a while specks of romance. 

Relationship experts recommend that couples should begin ‘two- only’ night date to usher in the opportunity to enjoy each other's company, without any disruptions from the children. Showing more interest in each other and being up to date on what’s happening in each other’s lives will have a positive impact on relationship, since going out together is more powerful than therapy sessions.

It shouldn’t be complicated

An extravagant evening won’t be a bad idea, but not necessarily the only way to guarantee a good time. Here are some simple strategies you can try with your spouse:

·        Every Saturday night, go to your bedroom an hour earlier, after the children are settled. Take a cup of cocoa or glass of wine, and reconnect with each other by relieving beautiful memories – laugh, jab each other lovingly – completely relaxed with each other, and let Mother Nature takes its course. 

·         If on the other hand you decide to go out on a night date, your nanny or a family member can look after your children, or you can drop them off at a friendly neighbour’s house if willing to take them of course. But be ready to reciprocate the kind gesture. 

·         In the afternoon, take a long walk (hand in hand) in the local park, or just around the neighborhood. 

·         Stop over at a coffee shop or local restaurant, with a very comfy and peaceful environment, where both of you can relax and talk over a cup of coffee or as you nibble some nutritious snack. 

·         Make every Saturday morning a fitness time. Drive to a park with breathtaking scenery like trees and mountains or with a lake view. Jog round, do aerobics, and generally have a fun time OR you may just decide a picnic just for the two of you it is.

 How frequently you plan these ‘two only’ outings is entirely your choice and in line with your lifestyle. Some couples can only do a once a week outing, others can only do once a fortnight, and as a matter of fact some can only manage it once every four weeks. How many times you go out shouldn’t be the focus but the quality spent together. Also remember it doesn’t have to be all a night outing. Afternoons are just as great; so long it is quality time together. Making the effort to reconnect with your partner is the most important part of preserving a loving and fulfilling relationship.

Love also comes in small doses

There are other ways to reconnect than romantic night outings. Remove the garb of seriousness and replace it with a playful spirit that sparks up a romantic connection. Seduce each other, use endearing names, or make admiring comment to one another on a daily basis.  Envisage that your spouse is someone you have just started courting, then express your affection and delight for him or her whichever way   suits you through email and mobile phones.

Once you decide on a renewed ‘courtship’ with your spouse, this will help you develop a healthy relationship.   And when you’re going out on a courtship outing, get involved with activities that you like to do and reflect who you both are. Since it’s assumed you got involved with someone who loves life and pursues happiness the way you do, with the best intentions, you’ll be relieving those romantic moments every day.

Photo Credits: Creative Commons.