In Pursuit of a Healthy Stress Management Lifestyle

Stress is the No.1 physical and mental drainer. No wonder everyone is talking about stress and how to manage it, making stress control a must for a healthy lifestyle.  We get stress from children, work place, super markets, open markets, family, in-laws, business associates, bad drivers, armed robbers, aggressive bad mannered people, schools, universities, and so on. 

What actually causes stress?  Stress occurs when things don’t go the way we want, or when we try to do multiple things at once, or unhappy about a decision’s outcome, or when we feel cheated, or confronted with overwhelming situation within the immediate or extended family.   We are also stressed when moving house, migrating to greener pastures, changing jobs, death of a loved one, serious health issues, heavy financial loss, or debts.  If we are in control of our lives, managing stress shouldn’t include reliance on temporary lift-me-up s like cigarettes, alcohol, sleeping pills, or other drugs. 

I have learnt over the years that a lot of things I get stressed about, apart from the death of a loved one or a fatal armed robbery attack, are not even worth the blood rush.  Getting myself hot and flustered doesn’t solve a problem, but having peaceful collected thoughts work better. Yes like everybody else, once in a while I find myself in situations that destabilises my equilibrium, in the short term or in the long term.  Two tricks that worked for me, and still do, are to hit the gym and work out the stress, or go for a long walk to cool me down.  Either way, I find myself able to do a better analysis of issues at stake.  Exercise calms me down and allows a clearer state of mind and focus.

Coming back home to Nigeria, after twenty years of studying and working abroad, was quite a  stressful experience, being a big decision that destabilised a former lifestyle. The initial urge was to turn back, but on second thoughts decided to give it a year to see how things would turn out.  I never moved back overseas.

How did I survive the initial stress? For me to survive the self-imposed one-year ultimatum, I looked for ways to cope with the different sources of stress, but first had to outline my objectives. My major objectives were to maintain my energy, have a strong body, and a healthy mind.  Consequently, it became important to find ways to continue my normal exercises and healthy eating. There weren’t many places you could go for exercises, and when you insist on healthy eating, you become a nuisance to your family and friends, who simply see you as ‘odd’.  So it was difficult at first trying to fit daily exercises and healthy eating into my lifestyle.

I continued my healthy living objectives diligently undeterred. Since there were no real professional fitness centers in the very early 1990’s, I improvised by going on a four- mile trek everyday in the evenings, when the weather was  much cooler.  I also walked to my office and back totalling a one hour walk six days a week.  I made do with all the nutritious local green leafy vegetables and the various delicious succulent fruits, shunned sugary drinks, cakes, biscuits, and chose my meals carefully when dining out.    

That was many years ago.  A healthy lifestyle is slowly becoming the norm in Nigeria, and the rest of Africa.  Fitness and leisure centers are opening up, while good hotels are also providing leisure services.   More people are enquiring about how to lose weight, how to remain youthful, healthy and beautiful, how to make the most of available foods in making nutritious meals; generally looking for ways to adopt a healthy lifestyle in a highly stressful environment.

Managing Stress: 5 Ways That's Working For Me

Exercise

We all have different ways of coping with stress. For me, one good way of clearing cobwebs in my brain, accumulated during the day, is to have at least an hour, or maximum of two hours, session doing various exercises like stretching, aerobics, working with weights, jogging, or any other sport activity that can be fitted in during those hours.  This two hour time is part of my daily routine and a lifestyle.  It’s done joyfully with anticipation of the ‘feel good’ afterwards.  Beyond the immediate feel good high, my skin is good, immune system high, in pretty good shape, and full of energy.  I must confess there are times that I don’t feel like doing any exercise.  Once I’m out of it, which is not very often, I take a one or two-day break to allow my body recover from previous exercises.  Then I go back to my routine.

Me-Time Ritual

On a Saturday morning, I give myself minimum three hours of doing absolutely nothing.  I refer to this period the ‘me-time’.  I wake up late.  I put my feet up and no rush over breakfast.  I can watch television, listen to music, read, write, or just let my mind drift as long as it wants over happy memories, then savour present moments of relaxation.  Whatever activity I chose to do shouldn’t get me over-excited, or all wired up.  On the contrary it calms me, unwinds me, gives me an inner glow, and permits deep and even breathing.  I let my body and mind take control of whatever activity at any particular moment, and just flow with it.

Say No, and Mean No

I don’t do socials till after this ‘me-time’ period.  Since it has become part of me, my friends and family know they can’t get my attention  until after my self-care ‘indulgence’.  Initially, there was grumbling, but this is no longer an issue. My friends now understand and respect my wishes, or simply accept my non-negotiable ‘me-time’ as part of my healthy living habits.  The truth is that if you get interruptions when you don’t want, you can either snap or pretend the unexpected interruptions suit you.  Either does you no good.  So make your rules and stick with them.

Advance Planning

I am normally the get- up- and- go- type, in tune with the fact that life can be erratic sometime.  But I have learnt over the years, that running all over the place doesn’t help my body at all.  It leaves me wound up, hot, with tight skin that feels as if it’s being pulled from ear to ear.  This is how my body reacts to stress.  With this in mind, I take my time and avoid unnecessary speed, but still end doing what I have do within stipulated time.  Planning ahead helps me achieve my objectives without the panic. I insert extra days into a project for proper implementation, and work at my own pace.  It doesn’t mean I take forever over a task.  What it means is a proper analysis of the best way to do an activity, rather that diving headlong and then trying to find your feet.  This is when you waste precious time.  By doing a thorough pre-project analysis, you finish in good time, but at your call.  If on the other hand, I find myself overwhelmed with several demands, and the day seems too short to meet them all, I take a simplistic ‘materialistic’ approach; I put my feet up, watch television, with soft, soothing feel -good background music, have a glass of red wine, and later climb the stairs to my bedroom with the hope that tomorrow is always another day. Let tomorrow take care of itself.

 Prepare for the Unexpected

Leave home on time if you need to go to work, meet an appointment, or take the kids to school. I discover that bad roads and unexpected traffic jam can spoil your day.  So hit the road before the road gets busy, or give plenty of extra time for the unexpected.  If you don’t, this is what is likely to happen: you leave home in the morning having had a wonderful night rest, you feel refreshed, you are at peace with God, and you look forward eagerly to the day’s challenges. Low and behold, five minutes into your ‘feel good’ moment, you run into this terrible stand still traffic, with different bus and car drivers trying to run you aside to escape the traffic jam, while you try to avoid being bashed.  Suddenly your ‘feel good’ euphoria turns into one of anxiety, distraught, sweating, swearing, and shouting.  You even forget the promise you made to God that morning to be good to everyone you meet and not to utter one swear word.  It is your choice; you can avoid unnecessary hang-ups or road rage by leaving extra time for the unexpected.

Managing Stress: Tips from Experts That Also Work

Determine your optimum stress level

Identify the positive and negative stresses and determine your own optimum stress level.  Whenever you find yourself in a stressful situation, such as  a tight deadline, confrontation at work, making a public speech , and whether this stress becomes negative or positive depends very much on your ‘optimum stress level’, which varies from person to person.  The stress that will work for you is the one that takes you up to your limits, but not beyond.  At this level you will be performing your best, feel stimulated, happy, and self-confident.  This is your ‘optimum stress level’.  Anything below will leave you bored, unchallenged, unenthusiastic and tired.  If above will leave you hot and bothered. 

The solution is to determine which stress works for you positively.  If you’re forever living above your optimum stress limit, then it’s time to redefine your goals, take time off to give yourself a breathing space, busy yourself in something totally different, walk, jog, paint, learn how to sing, join a dancing class or join a church committee where you can put to use your skills and talent.  Do something creative, enjoyable and noncompetitive, which you will want to replay.  On the other hand, if you find yourself below the optimum stress level, get rid of boredom through variety and new challenges.  Seek out new targets and goals, change your job if need be, and revise certain aspects of your lifestyle to help you get back on track.

Take more exercise and relax more.

Any type of stress gets the body ready for action.  If none follows you remain wound up.  Whenever you feel anxious, aggressive, tense or hostile, let off steam by taking more exercise.  Run it out, punch some bags in the gym (rather than someone) hit the treadmill, the tennis ball, or the swimming pool, or escape somewhere quiet and chill. This is more productive than bottling up feelings or bursting out in anger.  Exercise  keeps you fit.  Relaxations soothes your mind.  Experiments have shown that a healthy body makes for a healthy mind.

Steer away from boredom. 

Variety is the spice of life.  Learn to be flexible and get out of habits.  We always love to be in the ‘comfort zone’, and out of unwillingness to tilt the balancing scales, we end up doing things the same way all the time.  Get out of the box, wander around and experiment. For instance, take a different route to work, seek new interest like joining a charity club, non-governmental organisations, and local committees, and go out once in a while with friends or relatives whose company you enjoy.  If you normally go abroad for your holidays, and for you it is always New York or London during the summer months, visit a different place for a change.  Choose a beach location or a place known for its breath-taking scenery, and visit at a different time of the year – why not wintertime in Alaska?

Stay calm in running your day-to-day affairs.

Avoid letting minor setback be a major crisis in your life.  Save your energy and anxiety for real crisis and emergencies.  When you find yourself in any uncomfortable situation, be objective and see how this will become insignificant just twelve months from thence.  That is to say no situation is permanent, only temporary for the moment, and all crises should be seen as such.

Prioritise your tasks.

Prioritise everything you feel you have to do, must do, and ought to do.  Arrange them in order of importance and put timing beside each to show when you will be able to do this.  The timing is not a rule, just a guide to keep you in focus.  You’re allowed to shift the goal post to suit your optimum stress level, so long as it is not procrastinating which can lead to a feeling of being inadequate or unworthy.  But if you find yourself faced with some new important task in the middle of something, put it on top of the list and get it done with first to settle your mind. By prioritising, it will enable you to do only those tasks or commitment you know you can handle reasonably within a certain period.  And you don’t necessarily overestimate yourself.  As you become more experienced and confident in meeting set targets, your life will be better organised, and you will have your own space to do what you like. 

Do one thing at a time. 

Certain amount of pressure is good.  Keeps you focussed.  But when too much pressure and demands drive you in different directions, you become flustered, there is confusion and you cannot think or act properly.  Focus your mind on one thing that needs doing first at a time and do it. Drop the excess baggage of worries that will not cause you any major upheavals and be flexible in your approach to the ones that need immediate attention.

 Photo Credit: Creative Commons.