Deflating the Midlife Crisis Myth

Midlife for most people is a time to do a spring-cleaning.  It is a time to take stock and reflect on life and ask whether what you have so far is truly what you really want.  Is midlife phase really punctuated with multiple crises? The general notion of a midlife crisis starts with the realisation that at the age of forty, even in earlier years, none of your expectations came true. For instance in your twenties you had anticipated to be at the top of your career and done all the necessary and important things in life, seen all the kids out of university and with more time and money in your hands, time to jet around the whole world having fun.  Though, not all your expectations came through, but at forty years you’re still looking hot, and ready to start on a journey to rediscover yourself and change strategies to get you where you want to be when you turn fifty, sixty and beyond.  Truthfully, there is nothing like midlife crisis.  What we have are different life phases with challenges along the way, which are surmountable with the right attitude to healthy lifestyle.

Simple Ways to Get Midlife Confidence

Yes, there are physical changes noticeable from forty years onward. For men baldness is showing, potbelly and thicker waistline, agility and sexual prowess on the decline, plus the realisation that teenage years are gone forever.  For women, ageing is not so drastic as they are emotionally prepared through gradual process of menopause. However, today’s generation of matured men and women, unlike our parents, are creating a new concept of what modern midlife might look like. They are approaching the emotional, psychological, and physical changes in their body in a more positive manner, so that most times there is nothing like a midlife crisis.  I would rather refer to midlife, irrespective of whether you’re thirty, forty, fifty, or even sixty, as a time to make the most of opportunities that come your way.

When you ask most people in their midlife what negative experiences they have had, responses include an empty nests, separation or divorce, loss of a parent or both, loss of a job, feeling that life is passing them by. On the positive experiences, some mentioned a new discovery of the spiritual kind, reached the peak of their career, more money and freedom, and the best opportunity to fulfill a burning calling, whatever this may be.

To help you get that midlife confidence, find below some things you may need to do or consider doing:

·         Reenergise

The body is like a car, and we all know what happens when your car refuses to start.  It is either you recharge the battery or buy a new one. As you get on in life, the energy you took for granted in your youth begins to slip away.  You get tired easily and may find it difficult to kick-start your body in the mornings.  This shouldn’t be.  The trick is to enjoy the much-needed energy without constantly groaning and panting, which means giving your body some rest to rebuild your strength.  It could be done through sleeping, reading, meditation, or even going out for a jog.  Jogging may be the last thing you want to do, but if you can bring yourself to do thirty minutes jog or skipping, you will be amazed at how your energy surges back.  Energy makes energy.

·         Rejuvenate

Too much stress and your hormones are doing a yo-yo? This is what you need to do to take that tired dull look off your face.  When you look in the mirror and see those lifeless eyes, your hair so dry and dull, your skin lost its glow, it can be quite depressing.  Worse of all, you then try to put up a brave face and smile, instead of those white glistening set of teeth what you see are coffee stains.  It is important you start your rejuvenation from inside, through healthy diet and exercise.  The outside can then be wakened through facials, body scrub, scrape and polish of your enamel, and proper care of your crowning glory.  The truth of the matter is that outward appearance and self-esteem are critical to midlife confidence.

·         Exercise

You need exercise now than ever before.  Your bones are beginning to thin and you are losing muscle.  Exercise targeted at the bones and muscle will stop them from breaking down.  Bicycling, running, using a stepping machine will make your bones stronger; while a little strength training will give you muscle mass and discourage flabbiness.

·         Eat Well, Feel Well

For smooth skin and shiny hair you need to eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables, low fat milk, whole wheat bread, and oily fish. What you eat affect your looks, particularly as we move on the age ladder.  Do not ignore a diet rich in Vitamin A, B, C and E, selenium and zinc.  Best sources of Vitamin A are carrots, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, watermelon, papayas, and spinach.  For adequate vitamin B eat plenty of poultry, a little red meat, fish, banana, whole grains (corn, millet, wheat, rice, tapioca), peanut and eggs. Vitamin C is easier to get through citrus fruits, yellow melon, tomatoes, sweet peppers and peas.  The anti-age vitamin is E with best sources from oily fish, beans, peas, lean meat, leafy vegetables and olive oil. The damaging effects of ultraviolet light on the skin are minimised through a diet rich in selenium.  Try eating more of tuna, chicken, turkey, and whole grain rice.  For firm skin and less of wrinkles, eat plenty of seafood, turkey, pork, soybeans, and mushrooms.

·         Live Your Dream

You have spent a good part of your lifetime working for somebody else, with little time left to pursue that burning desire to publish a book, become a bestselling author, start a charity organisation, take a cruise round the world, climb Mount Everest, or fly solo across the Atlantic.  This is the time to catch up on that dream.   The worse thing is to leave it too late, and end up dreaming rather than living the dream.  A journey of a hundred years, takes only one step to start.  It is that first step that is difficult, but once you take it you just fly.

So now you want to live your dream.  Are you taking the plunge because you lost your job or just discovered your spouse is chasing a twenty-something in his office?   If it is not by your choice you are being forced into taking a new turn in your life, go slowly.  However, if this is your call, no pressure from anyone, take your time and be sure this is really what you want, not some fancy dream that won’t stand the test of ups and downs.

·         Be Confident

Are you crowd shy?  Do you feel self-conscious? Do you sweat and shake with fright when faced with opposing view? If you experience any of these negative  traits, you may need to do a spring-cleaning of your personality and the brand you.  At this stage of your life, you should be in control and call the shots - which does not necessarily mean being the CEO of a company. What we are saying is having the confidence to say what you want to say, be what you want to be, achieve what you want, make your choice in life and stand by it.  It means raising your head high in any situation you find yourself. Look people straight in the eye and make your point. It also means the older you get, the more money counts. So start to make money if you have not started to.  Money is part of self-confidence building.

·         Be at Peace

Where are you spiritually?  Are you still confused about your religious beliefs?  We are all searching for that inner peace and tranquillity.   The confidence to look beyond this world, and breathe a sigh of relief that it has been a life well spent.  But if you are still restless and troubled, perhaps it is time to talk to someone about your spiritual concerns. 

·         Be Yourself

If you have always been good at playing the role of someone else, this is the time to stop.  Not only do you remove a big boulder you’ve been carrying, but also you’ve just taken a big puff of fresh healing air.  Trying to be pleasant to everyone, when there are times you really want to scream, means you are bottling your rage.  Be angry when you need to, and snap out of it as quickly as possible.  Also do not be extremely emotional or continue to play ‘eye service’ to your in-laws or co-workers.

·         Be Selfish

Ah, Ah! Yes, be selfish, and why not? After years of nurturing and caring for others, you have the right to put yourself first for a change. It is alright to travel on holidays alone, to have a body make over, to fall in love again after the death of your spouse, to ask your children to make their own supper and wash the dishes.  There is every chance that things get better after fifty, even after sixty.  So if you are not already there, it is an age to look forward to without any fear.  But if you are fifty already, and life seems to be taking a downturn, reassess yourself, and be reassured things will certainly take a turn for the better.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons.