A Supporting Partner Helps Your Heart
It has been said that marriage can improve your mental and physical
wellbeing. But the fact is that people in unhappy marriages are less healthy.
Studies found that remaining in a rocky marriage may raise stress and worsen
health, and people in close but negative relationship are susceptible to heart
disease. That doesn’t prove that a good marriage makes you healthy or that a
bad marriage makes you sick. But definitely a bad marriage isn't good for you. The
good news is that there are strategies you and your partner can take to
strengthen your marriage against the odds. Here are some things you can do to
help you get beyond those painful times in your relationship.
1. Open up on your feelings
All couples go through their different challenges. However,
there’s a problem if you don’t talk about the issues, thereby fuelling tension
and putting more distance between you.
Agnes remembers how she shunned fights with her ex-husband who
drank himself to stupor almost every night of the week. Agnes took this step
partially to protect herself from his tantrums when drunk. She tiptoed around
him practically, because she wanted to protect the children from witnessing the
ugly scenes. She also didn’t want to stress her husband or start and start an
argument. Her silence and resultant strained communication eventually led to
depression.
How do you develop communication expertise? Experts suggest learning
from books on communication, marriage tutoring courses, or online sources for
assistance. Approaching marriage counselor for help is another excellent
alternative, though not all of them instruct effective communication skills. So
look for one who specialises in how to communicate with one another.
2.
Sexual awareness
Even
partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. A lack of sexual
self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of
the last things you should give up. Sex brings us closer together, releases
hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the
chemistry of a healthy couple strong.
How do
you improve on sexual relations? Experts suggest to plan it. Put sex on the
calendar to increase your anticipation. May not necessarily be at night when
everyone is tired. It could be during a Saturday afternoon nap, or a quick one
before work. Also turning things round a bit can increase the fun you get from
sex. For instance be aware of what turns you on and your partner, but if your
sexual relationship problem can’t be resolved between the two of you, consult a
qualified sex therapist to help you face and sort out the issues.
3.
Conflict resolution
Sporadic disagreement
and fight is part of life. However if you’re both going the same horrible
situations every day, it’s time to take a flight from this health damaging
habit. It’s possible to lessen the anger and take a calm look at the issues if
you make the effort.
How do
handle conflicts? Experts suggest you both can master the art of arguing in a
more civilised and helpful manner, keeping in mind these strategies: be honest
with yourself; realise you’re not a victim because it’s your choice whether you
react and how; change the way you have responded in the past, even a little
shift in rhythm can change the tone of argument; and apologise when you’re
wrong and watch something delightful happen. Keep in mind you can only control
your behaviour; you can’t control somebody else’s.
4.
Trust is major
Trust is
a very crucial part of a relationship. Are there some specific things that
contribute to distrusting your partner? Or perhaps there are some unsettled matters
that stop you from trusting each other?
How do you develop
trust in each other? Experts suggest you and your partner can be consistent,
timely, do what you say you’re going to do, avoid lies, be fair, be sensitive
to each other’s feelings, call when you’ll be home late, do your fair share of
responsibilities, listen more, don’t be jealous, respect your partner’s
boundaries, don’t open old wounds, and don’t say what you can’t take back.
The
summary is that though every relationship has its good and bad, couples in fruitful
relationship have mastered how to cope with the bad and sustain their love life. They hold on to it, resolve problems and
educate themselves on how to manage the tricky issues of daily living. The
first thing is to be realistic. If you think your mate will be able to meet all
your needs and resolve your problems without you asking is a Hollywood fantasy.
Ask for what you need directly. Second is to master how to let things go and
enjoy one another. Third is to work on your relationship and truly examine what
needs to be done. Don't jump to conclusions that things would be better with
someone else. If you don’t address these problems, the likelihood is that the
same lack of skills that blocked your way presently will remain there and still
cause problems irrespective of what relationship you're in. So begin to repair your unhealthy
relationship before it’s too late.
Photo
Credit: Creative Commons
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