A Supporting Partner Helps Your Heart



It has been said that marriage can improve your mental and physical wellbeing. But the fact is that people in unhappy marriages are less healthy. Studies found that remaining in a rocky marriage may raise stress and worsen health, and people in close but negative relationship are susceptible to heart disease. That doesn’t prove that a good marriage makes you healthy or that a bad marriage makes you sick. But definitely a bad marriage isn't good for you. The good news is that there are strategies you and your partner can take to strengthen your marriage against the odds. Here are some things you can do to help you get beyond those painful times in your relationship.


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1. Open up on your feelings
All couples go through their different challenges. However, there’s a problem if you don’t talk about the issues, thereby fuelling tension and putting more distance between you. 


Agnes remembers how she shunned fights with her ex-husband who drank himself to stupor almost every night of the week. Agnes took this step partially to protect herself from his tantrums when drunk. She tiptoed around him practically, because she wanted to protect the children from witnessing the ugly scenes. She also didn’t want to stress her husband or start and start an argument. Her silence and resultant strained communication eventually led to depression.
How do you develop communication expertise? Experts suggest learning from books on communication, marriage tutoring courses, or online sources for assistance. Approaching marriage counselor for help is another excellent alternative, though not all of them instruct effective communication skills. So look for one who specialises in how to communicate with one another.


2. Sexual awareness

Even partners who love each other can be a mismatch, sexually. A lack of sexual self-awareness and education worsens these problems. But having sex is one of the last things you should give up. Sex brings us closer together, releases hormones that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy couple strong.

How do you improve on sexual relations? Experts suggest to plan it. Put sex on the calendar to increase your anticipation. May not necessarily be at night when everyone is tired. It could be during a Saturday afternoon nap, or a quick one before work. Also turning things round a bit can increase the fun you get from sex. For instance be aware of what turns you on and your partner, but if your sexual relationship problem can’t be resolved between the two of you, consult a qualified sex therapist to help you face and sort out the issues.


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3. Conflict resolution

Sporadic disagreement and fight is part of life. However if you’re both going the same horrible situations every day, it’s time to take a flight from this health damaging habit. It’s possible to lessen the anger and take a calm look at the issues if you make the effort.

How do handle conflicts? Experts suggest you both can master the art of arguing in a more civilised and helpful manner, keeping in mind these strategies: be honest with yourself; realise you’re not a victim because it’s your choice whether you react and how; change the way you have responded in the past, even a little shift in rhythm can change the tone of argument; and apologise when you’re wrong and watch something delightful happen. Keep in mind you can only control your behaviour; you can’t control somebody else’s.


4. Trust is major

Trust is a very crucial part of a relationship. Are there some specific things that contribute to distrusting your partner? Or perhaps there are some unsettled matters that stop you from trusting each other?

How do you develop trust in each other? Experts suggest you and your partner can be consistent, timely, do what you say you’re going to do, avoid lies, be fair, be sensitive to each other’s feelings, call when you’ll be home late, do your fair share of responsibilities, listen more, don’t be jealous, respect your partner’s boundaries, don’t open old wounds, and don’t say what you can’t take back.
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The summary is that though every relationship has its good and bad, couples in fruitful relationship have mastered how to cope with the bad and sustain their love life.  They hold on to it, resolve problems and educate themselves on how to manage the tricky issues of daily living. The first thing is to be realistic. If you think your mate will be able to meet all your needs and resolve your problems without you asking is a Hollywood fantasy. Ask for what you need directly. Second is to master how to let things go and enjoy one another. Third is to work on your relationship and truly examine what needs to be done. Don't jump to conclusions that things would be better with someone else. If you don’t address these problems, the likelihood is that the same lack of skills that blocked your way presently will remain there and still cause problems irrespective of what relationship you're in. So begin to repair your unhealthy relationship before it’s too late.



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