What Makes A Man Fall In Love?

When a man falls for a woman, he falls hard. Men love to be in love. While men often get stereotyped as seeking only sex, or that African men are the least romantic, if romantic at all, the truth is that a man gets all romantic when he's in those initial stages of the perfect relationship. So the song  by Percy Sledge is true that 'when a man loves a woman he's happy for the good thing he has found, and the woman can do no wrong'; at least as long as he stays in love. 

However, many men are still searching, which means a lot are still waiting to see the stars. What are they waiting for? What makes a man fall in love? After you rule out the obvious intangible laws of chemistry, attraction, serendipity or being in the right place at the right time that kick-start many relationships, I think the question really becomes this: What makes a man fall -- and stays -- in love? About 60% of men deem friendship the most important thing in a relationship, sex comes in at a little 8%, but let us give it a deeper thought. What exactly does that mean, and what kind of woman does a man really want? With full cognisance that men's tastes in women are as unpredictable as the 'British weather' or more recently 'Nigerian weather', find below some of the things many men value in 'she'. These are by no means all that men love in a woman, there are plenty more traits, but these are major according to relationship experts.

1. A woman with a passion for something else

Yes, it's nice to be doted over. Yes, it's nice to be pampered. Yes, it's nice to be with a woman who showers you with compliments, kisses, and all of her attention, but there is an obstacle between a fleeting, flirtatious glance and the kind of attraction that can last a lifetime. Many men say they like a woman who is involved in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her 'leisurely pursuit' is. Why? The passion she shows for her pursuit confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. These are positives for the woman a man hopes to spend decades with. 

2. A woman who is at home with ‘men time’

Every relationship has to design the time-together tango. Once a couple elevates from casual to serious, it goes through that period when most waking and sleeping hours are spent together. But at some point in the tango, one person will call a time out from the music of coupling, and try to spend more time with his or her friends, while still being careful not to step on any feet in the process. Even when they are with the most perfect woman, men still crave the occasional space to spend golfing or drinking or doing whatever; 64% of men are happy to have the time to themselves when their wives or girlfriends have plans. Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse, and not complain about, his need to have a few masculinity mixers. So when the football premier league season starts, relax. It will be over before you know it. 

3. A woman with a seductive poise

Her seductive poise in the bar may have been part of his initial attraction. The seduction that won his heart the first night may have been pure visual ecstasy. But the seduction that happens day in and day out is one of the major attractions for a man. What do I mean by the seduction poise? It's an attitude, the sassiness, the self- confidence, the charisma, the charm that shows she can be a little bold and a little daring. But wait a minute! Know that there's a thin line between a woman being confident and a woman being  aggressive that she turns men away. But the truth is that in certain aspects of relationships, men want women who have the seductive poise. Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. The danger? While it can be attractive, that seductive poise can also turn a man 360 degrees if she uses it in other places, like to flirt with other men, to become a relationship dictator, or to pick a fight with his parents in front of the whole family. He will show that kind of seductive poise the front door.

4. A woman who has a good taste in clothes

Men care about a woman's ability to give them a little gentle guidance in the choice of outfits. Every relationship is a give and take, and men will definitely take women who can warn when the stone washed jeans look out of place, who can guide to the perfect suit and shirt combination for an upcoming job interview, who can help make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Men like to project that they know what they are doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help easily steer men, without patronisingly taking control of the show, are the most treasured companion.

5. A woman who is unpretentious

A woman who says it as it is. She is real either in her attitude, style, thoughts, aspirations or in her relations with others. She declines to follow the masses, while her self-confidence helps her to identify what is right or wrong and hanging on those beliefs, irrespective 0f external discordant tunes.   Most importantly she's a woman who continues to be herself no matter how tricky in a society where there's little room for individual or minority view, and where following the 'Joneses' is the call of the day.

6. A woman who is honest and trustworthy

 Men love to be able to vouch for their women anytime anywhere.  For instance, a woman does what she promises to do, goes where she says she's going, her no is no, and her yes is yes. Does not double speak, lie, or two-time. She's dependable 99% of the time. The 1% is giving room for human error factor. After all we are  human.

7. A woman who keeps the fire of love burning
A woman who suffers fools gladly so long as it will bring peace, harmony, and sustain a healthy loving relationship. She smiles, laughs, but take seriously matters of the heart. She doesn't take a man's love for granted, so fights to keep it burning at all times, because she takes her role as a lover, wife, and companion seriously.

Finally, when a man finds a woman he loves so much, he couldn't care the monkeys what people say or think, he would do everything to protect her.  A woman reciprocates true love by her willingness to open and love with all her heart even if it takes her last breath.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons